Inhale, Exhale
by Violet Bliss
Summary: "I didn't know what being in love meant until he taught me how." A story about the fingerprints that don't fade from the lives we touch.
1. Inhale

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

* * *

**INHALE**

**Preface.**

I'm not sure I could ever go back to what my life was like before I met you, but, if I could choose between that and what I'm going through now - the after - I still wouldn't pick it. I would rather have the memories of our time together than the loneliness that made me up before you walked back into my life.

They say that there's little to no hope of you coming back but I refuse to let go of mine. I'm writing our story down for you now, for when you do come back to me, so that you can see just how deeply and completely your love runs through me and will always run through me.

Please come back.


	2. One

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

* * *

It was the eve of my twenty-third birthday when I met you again. I remember because my best friend and roommate was in the process of slowly and painfully suffocating me with her happiness, she'd met the love of her life a month earlier and as the only one around to hear about it, I was forced to listen to her endless monologues about his perfect smile, hair and below the belt _blessings._

_Inward shudder._

"We're going out tonight!" was the greeting Rosalie gave me as she walked into the living room of the apartment we shared, a bottle of vanilla vodka in one hand and a shopping bag in another.

"No." I told her, rolling my eyes dramatically before returning to the book in my lap, determined to spend my evening engrossed in good fiction and junk food.

I was so not planning on leaving the couch that night.

0-0-0-0-0

I still don't remember how she talked me into it, but hours later we were doing shots of vanilla vodka from our mismatched coffee mugs while we waited for the Emmett, the blessed boyfriend.

He arrived shortly after our fourth shot and I was grateful, the light buzz I'd worked up was a level I rarely passed while drinking, I'd never been the kind of girl who thought that the hangover was worth it. I was a wallflower by choice and I was content being that way.

0-0-0-0-0

It took Rosalie less than an hour to ditch me in favour of a dark corner and Emmett's mouth. I was sitting alone at the bar, twisting my hands around an overpriced bottle of cider when I felt someone slide into the seat next to me.

"It didn't take Emmett long to steal your friend away," says the person who just sat down and I stop fidgeting in my seat because not only is it not a voice I've heard before, it's a voice I've spent nights thinking about.

"How do you know Emmett?" I ask without looking at you because for a few moments I'm too stunned to think about anything but how I haven't seen you in years, my memories of you flashing through my head like an old film.

"He's my cousin," you say, a smile in your voice and I finally turn to look at you.

My memory doesn't disappoint me and I'm startled to realise that the years between college and now have made you impossibly more handsome. I look down again and bite my lip, fighting the urge to hide my face with my hair.

"I only met him a few weeks ago, so I can't really say we've spent a lot of time going over his family tree," I reply, trying desperately to not sound like that crushing little girl from ten years ago.

From kindergarten until tenth grade, your little sister Alice had been my best friend. A force of nature in regards to personality and beauty, she had been the sister I'd never had until she'd left school for an internship in Italy. She had also made it a point to ignore all of her brother's girlfriends because she knew I liked him. "There's no point getting to know them anyway," she used to say, "I know he'll end up marrying you."

"In any case, it gave me an excuse to really talk to you for the first time," you say in a low tone that makes me look up at you and make eye contact again and I'm momentarily dazzled because I've never had someone like you look at me even twice before.

I already know you're older than me, the seven year gap not as obvious now as it was when I had been thirteen and you had been twenty. The fact that you're so out my league is almost so obvious that it hurts.

"Hi, by the way," you smile at me, flashing perfect teeth and I have to bite my lip to stop myself from beaming back at you and giving myself away.

"Hi Edward," I say quietly, we'll aware of the blush creeping along my cheeks.

We sit in silence for a few seconds and I'm okay with it because it's not awkward and because I know from memory that you're not much of a talker. It had always been something I had liked about you, unlike your sister who couldn't go sixteen seconds without talking about something.

"How's Alice?" I ask you, wishing, not for the first time, that she and I had kept in touch after she'd left.

"She's married now, if you can believe it. Eloped in Vegas," you tell me and I smile, because I can, your sister had been even more of a romantic than I had. You smile back at me widely and I'm disarmed by how beautiful you are.

"I knew she'd be the first," I say, still smiling. I drain the rest of my drink and look around the bar, hoping to spot Rose but I don't see her. I really don't want to embarrass myself in front of you, the untouchable and perfect man from my childhood.

"I kind of always thought you would be," you admit to me and I face you and roll my eyes.

"My nickname in high school was Boring Bella," I tell you, and a frown appears on your face. I want to wipe it away with my mouth.

"I never thought you were boring," you say, shocking the hell out of me. I if I had had anything to drink, it would have been spat all over the bar.

I want to ask you why you said that but that moment is when Rose decides to make a reappearance, announcing that we're going to the twenty-four hour pizza place up the road. I'm torn between elation and nervousness when Emmett asks you to come with us and you accept.

You stand up then so we can leave and I look at you and I mean _really_ look at you. You were always tall to me but you have to be at least six feet tall now and I'm happy to see that your hair hasn't changed a bit, it remains the same bronze messiness it has always been but the stubble kissing your sharp jaw line is new and I find myself wondering how it would feel running along my stomach and between my thighs.

I see you look at me too, and I'm not sure what you're looking for but you definitely notice that I'm no longer a little girl with skinned knees and wild hair because your eyes are a shade darker than they were when you were sitting next to me a minute ago and you're definitely not looking at me like I'm a child.


	3. Two

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

* * *

You are the only other person I know who likes plain cheese pizza I discover when you ask to share mine after I order in the warm pizza store, when I tell you this you smile at me strangely.

"What?" I ask, eyebrows raised as we sit down at the table where Rose and Emmett are playing tonsil hockey.

"You don't remember?" you ask, smiling slightly and I'm trying to look indifferent by unnecessarily reading over the menu.

"Out of necessity I've kind of repressed every memory I have before age sixteen," I tell you, shaking my head at the memory of a love-sick pre-teen.

"Why's that?" you ask, pushing your hair out of your eyes and leaning closer towards me. I'm surprised you don't hear my gasp at your close proximity.

"I had a crush on you, like always," I tell you like it's the most obvious thing in the world, looking away from you, praying that our food arrives or that Rose and Emmett detach long enough to distract from the awkwardness that is about to settle over you and I.

"Are you kidding?" you ask and I look back at you because the tone of voice I just heard was not mocking or teasing but genuine shock.

"Are_ you_ kidding?" I quip back and I'm praying that you're not just making fun of me because I don't want you to be that guy.

"I'm really not. I thought that you hated me, you never spoke to me," you say and I'm looking at the stainless steel table which is reflecting my furious blush and for the first time I'm grateful that I was looking down because I would have missed seeing your hand slide across the scratched steel and your pinkie finger slide across my own.

I don't know if you realised it but that was the first time you ever touched me. It was also the moment I knew you didn't see a little girl when you looked at me anymore.

"I was so shy, mostly around you and Alice swore she would hate all of your girlfriends because they weren't me," I laugh nervously, silently begging you not to think I'm a loser.

Your booming laugh rips my gaze from our slightly-touching hands to your face and your emerald eyes are twinkling with laughter.

"_That_ was why she never talked to them!" you exclaim between fits of laughter and I like it because I've never heard it before and I like it even more because_ I'm_ the one who caused it.

We share a cheese pizza in comfortable silence, sharing glances and exchanging smiles and I'm really glad I didn't stay home with my book.

0-0-0-0-0

I don't know where the courage comes from, the alcohol I consumed hours ago is long out of my system but somehow I am brave enough to ask you if you want to come back to our apartment with us.

You're silent for a second and my heart sinks with worry that you've just been humouring me all night and I once again silently acknowledge that you're way out of my league anyway so I'm sure my face looks somewhat surprised when you shyly smile at me and say, "I'd like that."

Our dynamic shifts after that, a hyper-awareness setting between us and we don't talk but we exchange small smile and side glances and your nearness is consuming.

When we get back to the apartment, Emmett offers us a joint and you and I both politely decline and when I start walking towards my room, I glance back over my shoulder to see if you're following me.

You are.

I turn back around and smile and I'm only a few feet into my bedroom when I hear the door close and feel your body heat behind me. The darkness is charged with a sexual awareness that I've never experienced, I can feel goose bumps rising on my skin in anticipation of your touch.

We are both silent as I turn on the lamp beside my bed to its lowest light setting before taking off each of my shoes, I am leaning down to put them in my cupboard when I feel your hands wrapping themselves around my waist and you pulling my back to your front.

Your breath tickles my ear as you push my hair to the side and waves of want hit me. I had never craved anything the way I craved you. I almost moan when your lips make contact with the sensitive skin of my neck and you're gentle for a second before biting down and this time I do moan.

You spin me around then and we watch each other for a few seconds and I'm met with a look in your eye that gives me the courage to lead you to my bed and pull you down with me and when you do finally kiss me it's passionate and hungry and warm and all consuming. Your hands are touching me everywhere, my neck, my hair, my back as you pull me closer and closer and I'm drowning because I've never felt this way about anyone before.

I let you take my dress off and your hands are eager to discover more of my skin and it is when my almost naked chest collides with your naked one that I stop.

"What's wrong?" you ask, pulling back. The way you looked in that moment was almost enough for me to forget about my hesitation.

"I don't want you to think that I'm the type of girl who does this, who just sleeps with people," I admit, pulling away from him all together and sitting on the bed with my back facing him.

"Bella, I wouldn't be here if you were," you say, wrapping your arms around me and I melt into you. We sit there like that for a while and I'm grateful for the silence.

"What were you going to do tonight?" you ask me suddenly and I turn my neck to try to look at you.

"What do you mean?" I ask, not really understanding.

"What would you have done tonight if Rosalie hadn't have dragged you out?" you ask and I blush and gesture towards the bookcase that looks like it's about to collapse under the weight of the amount of novels I'd stashed in there.

"Read to me," you command gently, your stubble soft along my shoulder as you kiss a line over my skin.

"Read what?"

"Anything, you pick," you say and I turn to look at you, to see if you're not messing with me. It only takes me a second to see that you're serious and it makes me smile. I'm filled with relief that you're not running because I won't sleep with you tonight.

And that is how we spent our first night together, me wearing your discarded shirt while reading to you from A Game of Thrones and you cradling me, my back to your chest as you closed your eyes and listened to me. If it hadn't been for your hand running up and down my thigh, I would have thought you were asleep but you listen to me for over an hour until I started yawning and then you wordlessly stripped down to your underwear and climbed under the covers with me and we fell asleep with our legs tangled and my head on your chest.


	4. Three

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

* * *

I am woken by the feel of your rough fingertips tracing patterns on the bare skin of my back, during the night I had discarded your shirt in favour of feeling your bare skin pressed against mine. I keep my eyes closed for a few minutes, processing the fact that last night hadn't been a dream and that you were now in my bed with me, mostly naked after a night of just sleeping.

I didn't want this to be over either; I did not want you to stop touching me like you were attracted to me or to give me a look of pity before admitting that we had a fun night but you still saw me as that little girl with wild hair.

"What time is it?" I ask you, my voice thick with sleep, knowing that the sooner that this was over, the sooner I could start recovering from it.

"Six AM," you reply and I groan very unattractively before moving my head to face you. You're smiling at me and I'm breathless, your fingers still running over my skin in patterns I can't make out and I don't want you to ever leave my bed.

"Why are we awake then?" I ask you, unable to resist smiling back at you. I don't move, I don't want to risk losing the connection we have in this moment and have you regret this, regret me.

"I have to be at work in an hour," you say and you move your hand away from me, your face losing its smile and I want to cry at the loss of contact.

I sit up while you get up from my bed and wrap the sheet around my semi-naked torso. I watch you carefully as you make no move to put your shirt on but instead, walk around my room looking at everything.

"What are you doing?" I ask, finding clothes to put on, feeling vulnerable.

"Just trying to figure out who you've become over the past ten or so years," you say, running your fingers over to well-worn spines of my books.

"And who have I become?" I ask boldly and it surprises me because I am not bold, or brave or anything that could possibly satisfy you. I wasn't the girl who brought a guy home after a night, and I hoped you knew that.

You turn around then and look at me, your green eyes more intense than I'd ever seen before and a half-smirk gracing the mouth I wanted to ravage again. You don't answer me and I'm embarrassed because it's more obvious than ever that I'm not up to par. You'll walk out of my room and the next time I'll see you, you'll be engaged to an Italian model with a gorgeous body and I'll only be the bookish girl from that one night.

You dress quickly after that I'm part grateful and part sad because I'd wanted you before but now that I'd had a taste, I wanted you more than ever.

"I have to go," you tell me and I imagine there is a regret in your voice, as though you'd rather be here with me than at your job. I realise then that I don't even know what you do.

"I know," I reply, leading you out of my bedroom and through the apartment, all the while trying not to look at you.

"Can I get your number?" you ask as I've got my hand on the doorknob to let you out and my heart starts thumping in my chest because it is literally the last thing I ever expected to happen.

"Um, sure," I say, sounding a thousand times more casual than I appear and I grab a sharpie from the kitchen counter and your hold out your hand for me to write on and I do, inking the digits as clearly as I can with my shaking hand.

"Thank you," you say when I'm done and I look up and smile at you with my whole face for the first time all morning because you want to see me again.

"Bye Bella," you say, returning my smile, teeth and all, before leaving through the door.

It isn't until later, after I'm in the shower and washing my hair, my smile still strong that I remember that it's my birthday and my smile falters a little bit because I realise that without even trying, you've already made it better than all of them.


	5. Four

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

* * *

My twenty-third birthday passed in a haze of smiles and gift cards for bookstores that I knew would lead to having to purchase another shelf.

I hadn't stopped thinking about you all day. I regretted spending hours alone with you sleeping, when I could have been firing off questions about you. I wanted to_ know_ you.

It was just after eleven that evening that I made it into bed, having demolished a bottle of wine and half a pizza with Rosalie, she made me spill my guts about how I knew you and I told her all about when I knew you then and everything that happened last night and she smiled at me in a way that I hadn't seen before, like she was excited about you. I crawled onto my bed, still unmade from last night and inhaled the pillow that you slept on before closing my eyes. I was ready to spend the next fifteen minutes between being awake and asleep thinking about when - and if - you would call.

I heard the front door then, someone knocking. I didn't open my eyes, assuming that it's another of Emmett's midnight booty calls, so I'm beyond startled when my bedroom door opens and you're standing there.

You're dressed in grey tracksuit pants and a black t-shirt that clings to your sculpted chest, the same chest I rested against last night and you look like you're dressed for bed.

"Hi," I say, the confusion of your sudden appearance evident in my voice.

"I almost missed your birthday," you state, looking apologetic, your hands running through your unruly hair.

"Technically you didn't, you spent quite a bit of it with me," I smile at you, trying to reassure you that you haven't upset me. I don't think you realise that the fact you even remembered my birthday is the best present you could have given me.

"Yeah but I didn't even remember until just now, I spent all day trying to figure out why the date was important and then I got into to bed and it hit me and I can't believe I forgot your birthday. I would have called but we painted today and it covered up your number on my hand before I could write it down and-"

I don't let you finish your rant because I've practically leaped off the bed to pull your mouth down to mine. You groan and pull me closer, your tongue finding mine and you kiss me thoroughly and passionately, your mouth claiming mine in way that no one else ever has.

You pull away long enough to remove my clothes, your mouth tasting each new piece of my skin as it's revealed. When your tongue finds my hardened nipple a low hiss escapes my mouth and I feel you smile against my skin.

"Do you have any idea how perfect you taste?" your voice is low, and it sounds like velvet and honey against my aching peaks.

I shake my head and wrap my fingers through your hair as you move closer towards the place that needs you the most. You hook two fingers through the crotch of my panties and move them away and for a second, I'm almost embarrassed about how completely wet and swollen I am but you groan as you look at me, spreading my legs wider before pulling my pussy towards your mouth and I nearly fall apart then.

Your lips wrap themselves around my swollen clit while your fingers find my dripping center. You slide two fingers into me slowly and I contract around you, knowing that it won't be long until I fall apart at your mercy.

"So fucking perfect," you whisper hoarsely, your fingers picking up a relentless pace, enticing sounds from me that I'd never heard before.

"Please," I moan quietly.

"Please what, baby?" you demand, a smile in your voice before sucking my clit gently.

"Make me cum," I beg, feeling bolder than I ever have and you answer me by curling your fingers and finding that spot that nobody else ever had.

"Fuck!" I scream, and my muscles spasm around your fingers, my pussy erratically thrusting up against your face as I ride out the only orgasm I'd ever had.

I lay back on the bed then, closing my eyes and panting, trying to catch my breath. If it was any other time I would be too embarrassed by my nudity to just lay there and bask.

I hear you chuckle and I open my eyes to see you looking down at me, your eyes more intense than I've ever seen them before. I sit up then and smile shyly at you, moving up to lean back on my knees and holding my hand out for you to take. I smile wider when you do.

"Your turn."


	6. Five

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

* * *

I wake up before you the next morning, your body as tightly wrapped around mine as it had been the previous day and it leaves me with a bittersweet taste on my tongue because it would be so easy for me to fall into this with you. It scares me how easy it is for me to forget myself around you.

In your arms it's easy to forget that I know nothing about you beyond the past two days and who you were ten years ago. I don't know if you've been married or if you have children or what you do for a living and it's alarming how easy it is for me to let that go, acting before thought for the first time in my life.

We never made it to your turn last night, you asked for a rain check with tired eyes and I agreed with a soft kiss before climbing into bed with you for the second night in a row, your skin against mine sweeter than any dream I've ever had.

I wondered what it was going to be like when you woke up. Would you smile at me like you did the previous morning? Or would you give me a look of regret before making a hasty exit? Why were you even here with me, I wondered, Bella Swan; notorious for being plain, for being the bookish and boring girl with the muddy eyes and long hair. What could I possibly have that would entice Edward Cullen?

I'm broken from my thoughts by the sound of your voice against the back of my neck, "What are you thinking about so hard?"

I smile involuntarily, "Food," I say, without really thinking about it.

You roll me over then, so that we're facing each other and once again I am completely dazzled by those green eyes and that smile.

"Why are you thinking about food?" you ask me, the shadows under your eyes now gone after a good night's sleep and I don't fight the urge to run my fingers through your hair.

"Food is kind what I do," I tell you with a smile. I can't wait to cook for you, to see the look on your face when you bite into something that makes your taste buds scream with pleasure. The thought is embarrassingly arousing.

"Oh really?" you ask teasingly, laying kisses to my jaw and down to my neck and I pull your hair harder and the most delicious groan escapes your lips.

"Really," I hiss as your teeth and tongue dance over my neck.

"God, I want you so much."

"Then have me," I say boldly, the pleasure you're bringing giving me courage.

You kiss me then, your tongue sliding slowly against mine, the sensation enticing a desire from me that only you have ever caused. Your hair is soft as it slides through my fingers, pulling you closer and closer until I can taste every moan escaping your mouth into mine.

My skin feels like its on fire as your hands travel over my body, forcing sounds from me that you return with your own. Moments later, I'm on my back and my legs are falling open for you as if it's the most natural thing in the world.

Your kisses stop and you pull away slightly as your slide into me, your eyes bore into mine as our bodies become connected and a moan escapes from each of our mouths, followed by you saying my name like a prayer before sliding out and pushing back inside and I want to scream your name because it's never been like this before. It's never felt like this before and I feel more alive in this moment than I have the previous twenty-three years.

In this moment, you're everything, my past, present and future and I want to feel like this forever, I want to feel like I'm yours for the rest of our lives and it takes me a second to realise that I have always felt this way.

My legs wrap around your waist as I try to pull you further into me, you pick up your pace then and there's nothing soft about the way your body pushes into mine, it's frantic and passionate and in this moment, I feel like I will explode from the pleasure.

You say my name over and over, your mouth switching between my neck and my lips as you bring me closer and closer to the pleasure that only you have ever given me.

"Let go for me beautiful," you demand and suddenly I am drowning. My body feeling like I have been pulled underwater as my body shakes uncontrollably through the pleasure. My nails dig into your back and you thrust harder than ever before and your name escapes my lips loudly before your muscles tighten and you release inside of me, each pulse bringing me a satisfaction that I have never felt before now.

You pull away from me, pulling on your discarded clothing before disappearing into the bathroom to come back with a wash cloth. My face is blushing a bright rose as you wipe my thighs and between my legs with a gentleness that I have never experienced before.

"I shouldn't have done that without protection, I'm sorry," you tell me, kissing my forehead gently and running your thumbs across my hot cheeks.

"I'm protected," I tell you, pointing to the pack of pills sitting on my bedside table and you smile at me, looking a little relieved before joining me back in bed, wrapping your arms around me.

"It's never been that way for me before," I admit, my voice barely above a whisper. You tighten your arms around me then and kiss my neck softly.

"It hasn't ever been that way for me either," you reply and for the third time, I fall asleep in your arms.


	7. Six

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

* * *

You wake up before me this time, shaking me awake gently and I open my eyes to see you sitting on the side of my bed, dressed again and I sit up, pulling the sheet with me to cover my chest.

"What time is it?" I ask you, wiping the sleep from my eyes and praying that my hair doesn't look as chaotic as it feels.

"Almost noon," you tell me with a small smile, "I haven't slept in this late in years."

"Why's that?" I ask, trying to distract you while I pull on random articles of clothing from around my room. I blush furiously when you pass me my panties.

"My job doesn't really allow for it."

"Oh," I say dumbly, pulling on a pair of jeans, "what do you do?"

"Alice's husband I run a construction company," you tell me and I smile because I'm not surprised. You single-handedly built Alice a tree-house when she was a child, a place we'd used to sneak our first taste of alcohol that we'd stolen from your bedroom when we were fifteen.

"I can see you doing that," I tell you honestly, running a brush through my wild hair.

There's silence for a few moments as I detangle the seemingly endless knots and you observe the titles of the books in my shelf.

"Do you want to have lunch with me?" you ask and I pray that my face does not look as surprised as I feel. I'm actually surprised you're even still here.

"Yes," I tell you without even thinking about it. I don't want this to end just yet.

I look down at what I've pulled on then, a faded Star Wars t-shirt and cut-off jeans.

"You look fine, but I need to go home and change, did you want to come?" you ask, taking me by surprise for the god-knows-what time.

"Um, sure," I say pulling on a pair of chucks and applying body spray before following you out of the apartment.

0-0-0-0-0

You're silent on the way to your house and I spend the time switching between staring out of the window and at you.

"You said that food was your thing before, do you cook?" you ask and I smile.

"I mostly make sweets and desserts, a few restaurants around stock my cakes and ice cream and sell them. It's not a lot, but it's helping me save until I can open my own," I say proudly, because I am proud of what I've achieved. I started small, in markets and in a local diner until word of mouth helped me expand my clientele.

"My mom would love to hear that," you say and I smile at the thought of Esme, the woman who helped me bake my first cake, which also happened to be Edward's twenty-first birthday cake.

"I haven't seen her in so long," I say wistfully, hating that I let myself get out of touch with the Cullens.

We spend the rest of the drive in silence, and I notice that your neighborhood is gorgeous, the kind of place you dream about with huge yards and tree lined streets. When we pull up to your house I am speechless because it is the Tudor-style house that I have dreamed about since I was twelve years old and Alice and I watched a housing style documentary with you.

"Do you like it?" you ask, getting out of the car and I pull my gaze away from the house to look at you and I'm shocked to see the nervousness on face.

"Did you do this?" I ask and I've never been more in awe of you than I am in this moment.

You nod bashfully and we enter the house then and the sense of belonging I feel is overwhelming. It's reminiscent of your parent's house in the openness of it all, the large archways between rooms and the furniture built for comfort over style. I nearly die when you lead me into the kitchen because it's exactly how I would have done it, with dark chestnut cupboards and cream counter tops that call to me.

"Bella?" you ask, pulling me out of my trance.

"Yeah?"

"Do you like it?" you look even more nervous now and I want to kiss the look away and I don't even hesitate before I do.

"It's perfect Edward," I tell you after pulling away and you smile so brightly at me then that I feel my heart stutter in response.

You run to your bedroom then to shower and change and I walk around the kitchen, my fingertips running reverently over the pristine counter tops and imagining myself cooking here, creating culinary masterpieces that make you smile like you did just a minute ago.

With a last wistful glance at the stove that looks barely used, I make my way into the living room and once again, I can easily see myself here, wrapped up in my favourite blanket on the thick rug in front of the fireplace reading to you again, like I did that first night.

I walk over to the floor to ceiling shelves that hold everything from books on architecture to family photos and I smile as I see a picture of Alice from her wedding, she looks radiant in a small white sundress in the arms of a man looking at her like she held the answers to the mysteries of the universe. I pick up the picture and run my fingers over her hair, which once was waist length is now in a dark pixie cut that suits her flawlessly.

I hear you making your way down the hall then and I go to put the picture back, but not before I see something that makes my heart stop.

I move away from the shelves just in time for you to enter the room, in new clothes and a with smile on your face.

"Ready to go?" you ask and for the first time since you walked back into my life, I have to force a smile.

"Yeah," I reply and we make our way out of the house.

I spend the entire car trip wondering how to ask you about the picture of you and the gorgeous blonde woman kissing.


	8. Seven

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

* * *

The silence between us at the diner while we eat lunch is anything but comfortable and I can feel you looking up at me with questions in your eyes as I war with myself in my head.

Who was she?

A wife?

A girlfriend?

What happened to her and why was her picture still there? What did she still mean to you? I wonder if I'm just a replacement for her, or a rebound. Is what's happening between us even real? I find myself questioning everything that has happened in the past few days? And the house, that house that had seemed so perfect for me, did you build it for her?

"Bella?" you ask, breaking me from the seemingly endless list of questions and doubts.

I look up at you and you're frowning at me, a small cross between your brows and your mouth turned down at the corners. Even frowning, you're most stunning man I've ever laid eyes on.

"Yeah?" I ask, looking down at the soup that I'd barely touched, afraid to meet your gaze and give away the panic in my eyes.

"Are you okay?" you ask and I frown because I hate that I've made you upset.

"I'm not really feeling well." I whisper, lying to you for the first time in my life.

"Do you want me to take you home?" your voice is concerned and I want to cry for both lying to you and for making you sound this way.

"Yes please," I reply quietly, my voice hoarse enough that I actually sound ill.

You pay for the lunch that I don't think either of us really ate and we make our way out to your car, driving in silence for the second time and I wish that we had never left my bed this morning; we could have just stayed in the bubble.

When we arrive back at my house, I see you open and close your mouth at least three time before you turn to look at me, your green eyes staring straight through mine and you look regretful and I want to wipe away that look and bring back the one that I saw this morning.

You pull me towards you then, and kiss me. It's a hard kiss, your mouth claiming and dominating with your hands grabbing at my waist so hard that I know I'll find bruises in a few hours and I don't care because I'm so consumed by your passion, it's everything that I've ever wanted.

You pull away so quickly that I nearly fall forward at the loss of contact and you look away from me and it's bittersweet because I'm grateful that you don't see me wipe the tear away from my cheek but that you can't even look me in the eye.

"Feel better Bella," you say, your voice more distant than I have ever heard it and it cuts me like a knife.

"Goodbye Edward," I reply, waiting for your car to pull away before I let the tears fall.

0-0-0-0-0

I spend that night drowning myself in ice cream and tears, berating myself over and over for being such an insecure little girl. I should have just asked you who was in the picture, instead of letting my insecurities get the best of me, seeing the beautiful woman with you has simply reiterated the fact that I am so incredibly out of your league.

Rose comes home from work late and finds me on the couch clutching a half-empty bottle of wine and watching Dirty Dancing, my movie of choice whenever I am miserable, the feel-good film not making me smile for the first time in my entire life.

"Oh Bella," she says sadly when she sees the mess that is me.

"I'm an idiot," I tell her, my voice cracking as fresh tears slide down my face.

"What happened?" she asks and I tell her everything from how I knew him when I was young to the picture on the shelf. She listens intently, stroking my hair as we share the rest of the wine and I know she's surprised by me, never before being this emotional; until tonight, she'd never even seen me cry before.

"Call him, tell him everything," she urges me, halfway through our second bottle of wine as Johnny pulls Baby out of the corner.

"I didn't get his number," I say sadly, "and the way he kissed me before he left Rose, it felt like he was saying goodbye to me."

"I don't get why you're being so damn accepting that this is the end Bella."

"You didn't see that picture Rose, she was so freaking perfect and I forget to brush my hair most days, I don't know how I could ever compete with someone like that," I rant, before draining another glass of wine.

"You _are_ an idiot Bella, you're so fucking clueless. You're seriously one of the most beautiful people I know," she states in her no bullshit voice and I can't resist rolling my eyes at her.

"I'm not lying," she says, turning her attention to her wine and leaving me to my thoughts.

0-0-0-0-0

It isn't until hours later, when I am lying in the sheets that still smell like you that I realise that you didn't ask for my number again after losing it and that is when I decide to be brave for the first time in my entire life.


	9. Eight

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**AN: Thank you for your support as I continue writing this story! It's my first time writing a fanfic and your love is so incredibly appreciated and motivating, I adore you all! I do not have a posting schedule but I aim for a chapter every two or three days although expect a new chapter within the next day or two!**

* * *

I waste no time after I make my decision, pulling on a pair of shoes and walking out of my apartment with my keys in hand, leaving a note on the fridge for Rosalie.

I climb into my car, the digital clock on my radio informing me that it's nearly three am and my courage falters for a second, but then I remember last night and how quickly you came over to see me, it feels like a lifetime ago and I inhale and exhale deeply before driving out of the parking lot, listening to a soulful voice on the radio sing about second chances and lost love.

0-0-0-0-0

It's well past three am when I finally arrive, having gotten lost at least three times in my haste to make it back to you and the relief that I feel when I finally see the two-story Tudor is from head to toe.

I stand at your door, knocking a few times more than necessary before stepping back, my hands shaking and my heart pounding as I hear you making your way through the house.

I hear locks click and the door opens to reveal you standing there - you're shirtless, wearing only a pair of plaid pajama pants and there are lines from your pillow on your cheek and sleep in your eyes and you're still the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

I open my mouth to speak but you beat me to it.

"Thank god," you say, your voice hoarse from sleep and then pulling me inside of the house and into your embrace simultaneously. The relief I feel is instantaneous and the warmth from your bare chest heats my entire body.

You pull away from me after a few moments, taking in my hazardous appearance and cup my face with your hands, running your thumbs over my cheeks.

"You lied to me today and we're going to talk about it after we both get some sleep, okay?" you ask, smiling a little but I know you're pissed at me and I'm okay with that.

"Okay," I whisper and that must be that because you lock the front door behind me and pull me by my hand upstairs to your bedroom where you climb into the monster of the bed in the middle of the room.

I pull my shoes off and go to climb into the bed with you, but you stop me, taking off all of my clothes except for my panties off before tugging me into your arms, holding my back against your chest, where I replay over and over in my head the look of relief on my face when you opened the door.

I fall asleep smiling at the thought that it's me that you want.

0-0-0-0-0

You wake up before me and I find that I enjoy that you're a morning person, but I hate waking up in a bed without you next to me.

I sit up quickly when I remember where I am, and I take a few minutes just to look at your bedroom and I'm not even a little bit surprised by how gorgeous it all is. Every item in the room complements one another, from the dark stain of the king-sized bed frame and matching dresser that I suspect you made yourself to the navy feature wall at the head of the bed, it's stunning and I'm completely blown away by the beauty of it all.

I smell something burning then, and I hastily pull on one of your shirts and run down the stairs quickly but the sight that greets me when I enter the kitchen stops me in my tracks.

"What are you doing?!" I almost shriek, alarmed by the sight of charred food in a frying pan over the stove that I suspect was on fire a few moments ago.

"Cooking breakfast," you groan, running your hands through your hair in frustration before taking the pan off of the burner and throwing it and the food into a bin.

You turn and look at me then, smiling sheepishly before scratching your stubble as you take in my state of almost undress, your eyes darkening as my nipples pebble under your gaze.

"Move," I tell you, wanting nothing more than for you to touch me but knowing that we really need to talk again before that happens.

"What?"

"Sit down, I'm in love with this house and I'm not going to watch you burn it down over some eggs," I tell you, pulling the necessary ingredients out of the fridge for omelettes and bacon.

You sit at the breakfast bar, your face resting on your hands as you watch me make you breakfast and laugh at me when my stomach rumbles and I don't even know why I doubted this yesterday, why I doubted for a second that this could be real.

You don't talk until we're sitting side by side eating the food that I made and I've never been more glad to know how to cook more than I am now, it was your mother who once told me that the way to a man's heart was through his stomach and when I hear you groan in pleasure as you eat the omelette I've made you, I send a silent thank you to Esme Cullen.

"What happened yesterday?" you ask me quietly and my heart clenches because I was so quick to dismiss your interest in me as fleeting and although it's been years since I knew you, I know that you haven't changed so much that you would mess with me, both physically and emotionally.

"I was looking at Alice's wedding photo and I saw a picture on your shelf and I kind of…freaked out, I guess," I admit, looking down at my almost empty plate, afraid to meet your gaze.

"What picture?" you ask and I look up at you because you sound as confused as I felt yesterday and I swallow loudly.

"It was you…uh…kissing someone," I say, clenching my fist on my thigh, trying not to convey my insane jealousy.

You leave the room so quickly that you're almost a flash in my peripherals and you're back quickly, holding the picture that caused me countless tears in your hand.

My jaw falls open almost comically when you walk over to the bin and drop the picture in there, the sound of glass shattering echoes through the silent room before you stalk back over to me, I turn on my seat to face you and you pin me to the breakfast bar, your hands on the bench either side of me and your eyes boring into mine.

"When I decided that I wanted to build this house I had a girlfriend, her name was Tanya. We broke up before the house was even finished, but her sister Kate is married to my friend Garrett and they helped me move in here when it was done and I guess she put the picture there in the hope that I would feel nostalgic enough to get back together with her sister. I wouldn't have even known the picture was there if you hadn't have said anything," you admit and I don't know if the intense relief I am feeling is on my face but it radiates throughout my entire body and I hold back a sigh.

"Is that the only reason you ran from me?" you whisper, running your nose along the length of my neck and I stifle a moan.

"I was worried," I whisper as your fingers begin to trace patterns along my naked thighs, higher and higher with each second.

"Worried about what?"

"I was worried that you didn't really want me, that I was just a rebound or a one night stand," I admit quietly and your hands stop their motions and you pull back to look at me, your eyes almost black with fury – and lust.

"Are you fucking kidding me Bella?" you demand and I blush and try to look down but you won't have any of that, pulling my chin back up so that brown will meet green once again. I'm almost embarrassed by how wet I can feel myself becoming after hearing you swear.

"I have wanted to do nothing but fuck you until you can't walk since I saw you in that bar last week," you say in the most low, hoarse and undeniably erotic voice I have ever heard and as a result I feel my arousal soak my underwear and I throb for you harder than ever.

"Oh," I say dumbly.

"I guess I'll just have to prove it to you then," you say, smirking at me wickedly before pulling my mouth to yours.


	10. Nine

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**My chapters average about 1000 words, I know it isn't much but it helps make for quicker updates, which are hard to make with my uni load.**

**I adore you all.**

* * *

The kiss you give me is consuming and my entire body feels like it's on fire, our lips moving in perfect synchronization as our hands grab and tug as we frantically try to pull each other closer. You lift me from my stool and my legs automatically wind themselves around your waist, aligning our covered centers and we both groan with the pleasure the friction between our bodies bring. You're carrying me then, never breaking your kiss and I expect cool sheets beneath me but instead feel the cold marble of the island in the center of the kitchen.

Your lips break from mine to leave wet kisses along my neck before pulling your shirt from my body, my panties following as I tug your plaid pajamas off with my toes.

I am wet – wetter than I've ever been in my entire life and about to have sex in a kitchen and I've never felt this aroused in my entire life.

"Holy fuck, Bella," you hiss as your fingers find me, hot and soaked for you. You tease me for a few moments, running your fingers along my wet lips before pushing your cock into me, and we both moan aloud at the contact.

"God, you're so tight."

You thrust into me steadily but without mercy, pulling my legs over your arms so that I'm leaning back on my elbows as our skin slaps together deliciously as you enter me deeper than ever. Neither of us mask the sounds that fall from our mouths as the pleasure between us builds and no fire I have ever felt has been this hot before – this consuming and it's so easy to lose myself in this, to lose myself in you.

It doesn't take long until I'm on the edge and you must feel it too, because you thrust harder and I like the feel of your hands gripping my hips while yours meet my thigh over and over and I know that come tomorrow morning I'll find bruises in those two spots.

"Look at me Bella," you demand I open my eyes to meet yours, and I feel my heart stutter when I see the dark emeralds staring at me in unadulterated lust because no one has ever looked at me that way before.

"Edward!" I gasp, fighting to keep my eyes open as my orgasm becomes imminent.

"I. Want. You." you say between thrusts and I never felt so confident in sexual appeal than I did in that moment, when you pushed me over the edge before following me into that total bliss that only you had ever brought me.

0-0-0-0-0

After a few minutes of us each catching our breath, you pull out from me and pick me up from the island in the kitchen – and carry me upstairs completely in the nude. I don't protest, knowing that there would be no way that I would be able to walk in a straight line after the way you just possessed me.

We go through your bedroom and into a door that leads to a master bathroom that I must have missed earlier and you place me on the counter, where I blush furiously as you wet a cloth with warm water before wiping our mess from me gently and it feels more intimate than having sex with you did.

I look everywhere but your face as you rinse out the cloth and wipe yourself clean and spy the huge claw-foot bathtub in front of me and I smile reverently because it's the type of bath tub a person like me dreams about drinking wine and reading novels in.

You see my smile and lean over, placing a kiss on my lips before silently walking over to the tub and turning on the taps and dropping in the plug before turning around and smiling widely at me, the possessive side of you gone and replaced with the playful one that I was beginning to get used to.

"Hop in, I'll be back in a minute," you say, grabbing a towel and making your way back out to the bedroom.

Despite the size of the tub, it fills quickly and I sigh as I sink down into the perfect heat, enjoying how quickly my muscles relax as I sink further down, my hands pulling my hair up into a messy bun.

My eyes are closed when you return and I smile as you move me forward to slip in behind me, not at all surprised by the ease in which we fit together.

We're both silent for a few minutes, your fingers prying mine from the sides of the tub to thread them together.

"I used to hate knowing you," you say so quietly that I almost miss it, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled between us and I feel my entire body tense as your words wash over me like cold water.

"What?" I ask, not being able to conceal the hurt in my voice.

"_No_ Bella, not like that. I don't regret you being Alice's friend – you're honestly the best one she ever had. I just, I hated that I was attracted to a fifteen year old when I was twenty-two, I thought I was a sick fuck until later on. I wanted you then and I hated myself for it."

"Edward," I whisper softly, not knowing what to say. Not once had I ever taken into account or believed for a second that Edward could have been attracted to me mid-puberty.

"It wasn't a huge thing, like I was in love with you or anything but _god_, do you have any idea how beautiful a person you are? You were so _real_ and it made so much easier to see when a girl was being manipulative and fake when you know what honesty and real innocence looks like. I didn't like being the guy who was comparing his girlfriends to his little sister's best friend. After Alice left for school and you stopped coming around it was easy to make myself think that people like you don't exist," you say quietly, running your nose along the length of my neck softly.

"People like me?" I ask, self-consciously, wanting to fold my arms around myself but not being able to because of our joint hands.

"You're so _good_, Bella. The only time you've ever lied to me was yesterday and you're so unfamiliar with lying that it was written all over your face in big bold letters," you chuckle, squeezing my hands.

"I thought about you, over the years," I admit, turning around a little so that I can see your face and you smile at me, kissing my cheek gently.

"Do you know all I could think when I saw you in that bar the other night?" you ask laying kisses along my shoulder.

"What did you think?" I ask, pulling my fingers out of yours and turning around in the bath so that I'm straddling you.

"I saw you sitting there and I thought; _about time._"


	11. Ten

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

* * *

We remained in your bath until the water became lukewarm and our skin was wrinkled, before drying each other with towels the size of blankets that you claimed were necessary for a person of your height.

We ate a picnic of sliced fruit and cheese for lunch on the fluffy rug in front of your fireplace where we made ourselves comfortable with over-sized pillows I found in a spare room that you blamed on Alice and we talked for hours, sharing everything about the time between we last saw each other now. The sky bleeds in a haze of pinks and orange, passing from day to night as we started to learn one another, the previous taboo of our age difference and your hesitation melting away with the light.

You wipe away the tears that fell when I told you about my father's short and unsuccessful fight with cancer and the continued absence of my mother in my life and I held your hand when you spoke about the struggles you experienced in college trying to find your identity and the insecurity that came as a result.

Halfway between afternoon and night, my heart gets the better of my head and I word vomited the question that I knew would plague me if I didn't ask: "Why did you and Tanya breakup?"

You half-smile, and it's more of a cringe than a grin and I feel my pulse elevate as the wheels turn in your head as you formulate a response.

"I don't really know how to describe Tanya or how we got together because it honestly seemed like one minute we were meeting for the first time and the next we were moving all of my stuff into her apartment because mine was too small. She was the kind of person who knew what she wanted and always got her way and I really liked that about her at first, her decisiveness at a time where I barely knew who I was and I felt like I needed someone to need me and I became dependent on her to make all of the decisions for me and she didn't disappoint, planning out our entire lives without even asking me what I wanted," you shake your head at the memory and I twist my fingers into your hair, the soft strands caressing the pads of my fingertips.

"So when Jasper and I started talking about building my house, I'd known exactly what I wanted it to be like, I'd been picturing it for so long that I hadn't even considered changing my mind, not even when Tanya and I started getting serious and I guess when she realized that I wasn't going to change my mind and build the modern monstrosity that she wanted, she left," you tell me, tracing patterns on the bare skin of my stomach where you've pulled my shirt up while my eyes take in everything about the room we're in.

"This house is you," I whisper, not wanting to sound like a cliche but you stop your tracing to look up at me with a smile on your lips and an intense look in your eyes that I can't decipher.

"You get it. She didn't understand that by rejecting all of this, that she was rejecting me. I put everything I have into this house, there's nothing about it that I didn't pour over both before and after it was built."

"Why the Tudor style?" I ask, rolling onto my side to face you and for the first time in my entire life, I see your face blush.

"I saw one on a documentary once," you admit, cutting off any opportunity for a reply with a kiss.

0-0-0-0-0

It was alarming at the ease in which we fall into a pattern, working throughout the day; you building and renovating houses and me creating candies and chocolates and ice creams that you insist I bring to your house every night and then falling into your huge bed next to one another, sometimes talking only with our bodies and other nights only with our mouths, our need for sleep overriding the never ending need for each other.

We become late nights and early mornings, an unspoken arrangement of me making dinners and you bringing me cups of coffee in the morning before you take me home and head to work for the day and I have absolutely no control over how quickly I'm falling for you.

Despite the hours spent learning about one another on that Sunday, I find that like me, you aren't much of a talker, though you speak loudly with touches that make me cry out your name. You're a small gestures kind of guy, stocking the fridge with the orange juice I drink by the gallon and going out to buy the next season of a television series that I fall madly in love with and watching the whole thing with me without making a huge deal about it.

Some nights I find it hard though, not knowing what's going on in that beautiful head of yours as weeks pass and you lay beside me silently after asking me to read for you. When I ask you what you're thinking about you shake your head and kiss me, telling me it's nothing and I pray to god that you aren't second guessing this because at this point I know I'm one kiss away from telling you that I love you.

0-0-0-0-0

"I feel like I haven't seen you in weeks," Rose complains as we share a tub of my ice cream and watch friends re-runs in our pajamas on a Sunday night a full month after sleeping at his house for the first time.

"It must really be something if you're there almost every night," she says, the television casting a soft glow over her features and I blush at her tone of innuendo.

"It's not really like that…well, it kind of is I guess but it's so much more than that if that makes sense," I say, thinking about the late nights and early mornings spent in your house as we continue to explore one another.

"It's different, isn't it? With him?" she asks and I know she gets it, because Emmett has been proposing every day since they met each other and she's finding harder and harder to turn him down.

"I feel like I just breathe easier with him Rose but sometimes I worry that it's all just a really great dream that I'll wake up from. I want to act like it doesn't bother me that he hasn't said anything to his family about us but it does. I can feel that he's holding something back from me and I'm worried that our age difference really bothers him but he hasn't said anything," I say, stabbing the ice cream unnecessarily aggressively with my spoon.

"I get it, Emmett is everything I have imagined since I was seven years old and he's all for getting married and knocking me up but as soon as I talk about moving in together, he's halfway down the hall running away from me," she groans and I nod, shoveling more ice cream into my mouth. Rose grimaces before pouring us each other glass of wine.

"A toast to our Cullens, who are gorgeous but incredibly clueless!" Rose says, tapping her glass against mine.

"Cheers," I say, drinking my wine and praying that you'll let me in before it's too late.


	12. Eleven

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

* * *

The fear of bursting our bubble of happiness overwhelms my need to know why you are only letting me have a part of you and I decide against asking you about it, settling with the fact that I would rather have a part of you than none of you.

The next few days pass in a haze of nights filled with your consuming passion and days filled with baking away my insecurities which eat at me slowly, and I pray that you'll let your family know about us soon, not wanting to waste any more time not being apart of Alice's life again.

"What has you thinking so hard?" you ask me on a Thursday morning, a rare occurrence of me waking up before you. The night before had been spent in bed, with me reading and you writing in a tattered note book that you wrote in at least once a day, your black rimmed glasses perched on your nose and driving me absolutely insane and later on, when I was riding you with your hands on my hips and mine on your chest, you kept those glasses on.

"You," I tell him honestly, smiling a little bit, "I'm always thinking about you."

I feel your smile against my neck as your arms wind so tightly around me that I can feel your heartbeat thudding rhythmically along my spine. I can also feel the erection against my lower back and I close my eyes and smile widely because in the intimacy of the early morning light when our bodies entwined with bliss, I could almost believe that I could see more than lust in your eyes.

"That's my girl," you say, your voice husky and low before rolling your hips into my back.

And later on, when you're inside of me, thrusting with wild abandon while I clench around you, I catch the quietest word fall from your mouth again and again as you come undone.

_"__Mine." _

0-0-0-0-0

The doubt I was feeling this morning has been manageable throughout the day and I find myself without a frown on my face as I push a shopping cart through the local supermarket, picking up supplies for both my apartment and your house and I pick up my phone to call you.

"This is Cullen," you say, answering my call and I smile because you never deviate from your standard greeting, choosing not to read the caller ID before picking up.

"Hey, it's me," I tell you and I hear you shuffling around, getting away from your co-workers while you talk to me.

"What's up beautiful?" you ask quietly, not wanting to be overheard by your enthusiastic and crude friends.

"I'm at the grocery store and I wanted to know what you felt like for dinner? I was feeling mexican but I know you prefer Italian." after spending over a month going between houses and barely spending a night apart, I am becoming used to our lack of a routine-routine.

"Uh, I'm not actually going to be home tonight. It's Jasper's birthday so I'm going to my parent's house, they're having a barbecue to celebrate." I notice your use of the singular straight away and remain quiet for a few seconds.

I feel my heart sink as I realise that you're not going to ask me to come with you, that you're still keeping me a secret and I feel myself begin to fall apart at the realisation that despite waiting for so long, I'm never going to get all of you.

"Okay," I reply finally, not trusting myself to say anything else.

"I've got to get back to work but I'll see you tomorrow?" you ask and I nod before remembering that you can't see me.

"Yeah sure, see you tomorrow," I say, hanging up the phone and leaving the store, my cart abandoned in the fruit section as I struggle to keep the tears at bay, hoping to make it to the privacy of my car before letting them fall.

I drive back to my apartment drowning in tears and insecurity as I stumble up the stairs and through to the sanctuary of the known.

0-0-0-0-0

"What the hell happened to you?" Rose demands when she comes home from work, pulling her hair up into a pony tail and falling onto the couch next to me, smelling faintly like the hospital where she works as a nurse on the pediatric floor.

"Edward Cullen happened." I reply, looking down miserably at the pile of used tissues on the coffee table.

"What did he do? I never see you cry."

"I thought I was being stupid about him not saying anything about us to his family, I thought that he would have at least told Alice by now and tonight he's going to see them all for Jasper's birthday and he didn't invite me and it hurts like a bitch Rose because he knows how much I love his family," I tell her, my voice thick and my eyes swollen but I see her wince visibly and my frown deepens.

"What is it?"

She frowns, looking insecure before opening her mouth, "Emmett invited me out to Jasper's birthday, and he works with him and Edward and I didn't even know it was at Edward's parent's house until today."

I reach over and grab her hand, squeezing it and smiling at her weakly, "I am happy for you Rose, the fact that Emmett is taking you to meet everyone is huge and I'm ecstatic for you so don't you dare get in a huff because of this."

"For what it's worth Bella, I wish he realises what he's doing before it's too late because despite all of this, I have never seen you happier than you are when you're with him."

0-0-0-0-0

Hours later, after eating an entire cheese pizza and lighting every scented candle I own as a way to find some sense of relaxation, I find myself holding my worn copy of The Notebook, trying to lose myself into Noah and Allie's unwavering love for one another but failing miserably. Rosalie called me an hour before to tell me that she was staying at Emmett's for the night but mostly to check up on me and I love her for being so wonderful.

It's almost midnight when my phone rings and I know it's you even before I read the caller ID and I think about not answering for a second before picking it up.

"Hello," I say, my throat scratchy from all of the crying and it makes me sound tired.

"Hey, it's me," you say and I want to bicker back that I know, because I check the caller ID unlike some people but I don't because the sadness I felt for the past eight hours has made way for anger and I'm pissed off at you for the first time in my life. "Did you want to come over?"

"It's almost midnight and I'm about to go to sleep Edward," I say, the irritation I feel seeping into my tone.

"You can sleep here," you reply quietly and I immediately feel guilty for being blunt with you.

"I'm already in bed, I'm tired and it's too late," I sigh.

"Too late?" you echo and a tear falls down my cheek because I feel like this is the beginning of the end and I know I won't be okay if it does end.

I say nothing and I can feel you pulling at your hair with your fingers and another tear falls.

"Okay then. Goodnight Bella."

"'Night," I say before hanging up the phone and another round of sobbing comes harder than before.

I don't sleep at all that night, the absence of your body leaving mine colder than I've felt since my father died.


	13. Twelve

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

A/N: I had been planning on waiting a few days but so many people were really angry and I just couldn't leave you all waiting for that long!

Reviews are love!

* * *

Halfway through the night I abandoned by bed for the couch, hating the way your scent lingered on my sheets and pillows and the way that my mind refused to allow me rest. I showered at five am, wearing the bright pink and pineapple-printed sleep shirt that I had bought on a whim but had never worn before, hoping that the cheerfulness of it would rub off on me.

It hadn't.

Rose called me in the morning to inform me that she and Emmett were going away for the weekend and despite my happiness for her, I wasn't keen on having to spend the weekend alone in my numb state.

My phone buzzed periodically throughout the hours between sunrise and noon and a glance at the caller ID stopped me from picking it up. I was too mad to talk to you and I felt humiliated by the fact that I had convinced myself that we were in an actual relationship, that I was good enough to be apart of your family.

As the sun reached it's peak in the sky, I pulled the curtains together to block it out, hating the way it glared on the television as I made my way through the fourth season of Grey's Anatomy.

I didn't know that I had fallen asleep until a strong pair of arms lifted me from the couch and pulled me from my slumber.

"Bella," you say and I stiffen at the sound.

"What the hell are you doing?!" I demand, the anger I had felt last night coming back tenfold as I struggled against your hold on me.

"Look, I know you're pissed and upset and you have every right to be, I fucked up yesterday but there is no way on earth am I letting you walk away from this without hearing me out first," you say, dropping me on my bed and grabbing a large bag from my closet before pulling clothes and underwear from my drawers and shoving them in there.

"Why can't we just talk here then?" I mutter, irritation in my tone despite the fact that I'm pulling on my Chuck Taylors and grabbing my phone and purse.

"Because this isn't where you and I talk," you say simply, grabbing my hand and pulling me out of my apartment, barely giving me time to lock up.

It isn't until we're in the car, driving to your house that I notice the dark circles under your eyes that match mine and my heart clenches at the thought sleepless, lying in a bed with sheets that smell like me and I feel a small burst of satisfaction.

"Why aren't you at work?" I ask, realising that it's still barely two in the afternoon.

"I wasn't any help to anyone today, according to Jasper, so he sent me home," you say, pulling into your drive way.

You drop my things into the entry way and turn to look at me, "Neither of us slept last night and I know I have a lot of shit to explain but I'd rather do it after getting some shut eye."

"Okay," I say simply, grabbing your hand and following you upstairs to the bed I thought I might never sleep in today.

We undress in silence and you pull the curtains closed before climbing into bed and pulling me into your chest, where I fit so perfectly and once again, I'm mad at you for almost ruining this.

"Bella?" you ask, your voice full of sleep and your arms tightening around me.

"Yeah?"

"I don't wanna lose you," you say so quietly that I barely hear it and I shed a tear because it's the thought that kept me awake for nearly two days.

"I don't want to be lost, but I want more than some of you Edward," I whisper before falling asleep in your arms, feeling peace for the first time since yesterday.

0-0-0-0-0

We're both pulled from sleep by the sound of Esme and Alice Cullen's voices calling your name from downstairs and we both sit up quickly.

You turn to look at me and the look of panic and fear on your face makes my eyes widen as you grab my hands and look at me.

"I'm scared Bella and that's why I didn't invite you. I have never felt the way I feel about you towards anyone before and I don't want my parents to hate me for this, I am scared to death that they'll reject me for wanting to be with you, that they wont accept us," your eyes are glassy and with those few sentences I understand why you've been holding back – the fear of your family rejecting you over our age difference and everything starts making sense, the part of you that you'd been holding back was them and the confidence that we could be together.

I hold your face between my hands and look into your bright emeralds, "I get it Edward, I do and I'm sorry. I'll stay in here, go and talk to them. They're probably worried that you're sick because Jasper sent you home. I'll stay here."

You look at me with such regret in your eyes as you pull away from me and tug clothes on, before leaving the room and closing the door behind you.

I hear some words as the sound of your mother's voice travel upstairs as I pull my nightie back on and get out of bed, knowing that I am not the kind of girl who would make you choose between me and your family, I understand that I keep letting myself believe that we have some sort of future together and I know that I have to stop.

"Are you okay honey?" I hear Esme ask as I open the bedroom door quietly, eavesdropping shamelessly, "it's not like you to go home from work, sick or not."

"I'm not sick Mom," you say and I can just imagine you pinching the bridge of your nose in agitation.

"Edward Cullen! Is this a woman's bag I spy by the door?!" Alice squeals with excitement and I miss her more right now than I have in the past seven years.

"Alice!" I hear Esme hiss, trying to contain her daughter to no avail.

"Is she here? Does my uptight brother _actually_ have a woman in his sacred home?" I can hear Alice rubbing her hands together at her brother's embarrassment.

"Yes Alice and I'd appreciate if you kept your voice down," you snap at your sister and I frown because it's the first time I've ever heard you do so, even when we were annoying pre-teens, you had been more patient than both Carlisle and Esme.

"Edward!" Esme scolds her son, shock in her voice.

"She's it isn't she? You have never snapped at me before, not even when I was a kid so I'm assuming that it's her, the elusive _one_," Alice says, her voice curious but obviously happy for her brother.

"Yes Alice, it's her," you say and my entire body sags with relief against the door, the widest smile on my face and a small _thank god_ escaping my mouth.

"Is it Bella, is she here?" Esme asks tentatively and the sound of yours and Alice's surprise covers the sound of my own.

"_Mom_." you exclaim and I hold my breath, praying that you make the decision that keeps me in your life. You sigh loudly and I hear quietly you say, "It's Bella."

I'm in too much shock to hear the footsteps making their way up the stairs quickly but you shout your sisters name and I'm suddenly unable to move my feet, my heartbeat pounding in my ears when Alice walks into Edward's room and sees me standing with my back to the wall next to the door.

"_Bella,_" her voice is disbelieving, almost as if she doesn't think I'm real and I can think or move because I haven't seen her in seven years and I'm terrified that she'll reject me.

"Alice," my voice is so soft I can barely hear it, my eyes welling up and then we're hugging and sobbing and saying things in our crying voices and finally, I have my sister back.


	14. Thirteen

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**Just a short one as the next one will be longer. Reviews are love!**

* * *

Alice didn't leave that night. After spending the rest of the day catching up with her and Esme, who was incredibly not surprised that you and I were together and who whispered in my ear not to be a stranger and to take care of her boy as she hugged me goodbye, she calls Jasper to tell him that she's staying over and I make up a makeshift bed in front of the fire, where we talk well into the night and it's amazing how seamless it is for us to fall back into our friendship.

"So Jasper huh?" I ask with a wink and she beams, the smile lighting up her entire face and she tells me about how they met while you and he started your business and how Carlisle cracked a fit because he was five years older than her and then the last puzzle piece falls into place and I understand your fear more clearly now than ever. Apparently Carlisle had cooled down since they'd eloped, understanding that Jasper wasn't using her and I smile with her as she recalls the Elvis impersonator who performed her wedding ceremony.

"So Edward huh?" she asks slyly and I can't resist the smile that has been firmly planted on my face since we stopped crying.

"Edward," I reply simply, not taking the bait.

"How did that happen?" she asks and I tell her about Rosalie dating Emmett and the bar.

"You invited him to your bedroom?!" she hisses before cackling like the little witch that she is and I groan.

"I didn't have sex with him Alice!" I reply, adding, "I waited a whole day and a half."

We both lose it and roll around on the floor, laughing like teenagers until you come shuffling downstairs from the bedroom, green eyes full of sleep and your hair pushed from lying on your pillow with a glare on your face.

"Hey you," I say, smiling at you and the slight look of irritation you held from us interrupting your sleep leaves and makes way for the most beautiful smile. You don't respond but leave the room for a few moments to come back with your pillow and the duvet from our bed.

"If you can't beat 'em, join 'em," you say, joining us on the carpet.

You stay up with us, laughing at and with me and bickering back and forwards with Alice before she falls asleep next to me, and I'm lighter in this moment than I have been in years.

I snuggle closer to you and we lie in silence for a few minutes, the sounds of Alice's breaths like a lullaby as I soak in everything that has happened today.

"She told me about Carlisle, with her and Jasper and I get it," I whisper, turning to face you.

"They were together for over a year before they got married and he never let up once, he was relentless in letting them know how he felt about it and their age difference is smaller than ours. I didn't want to choose between having my father in my life and having you," you reply. "I'm sorry that I made you doubt me, it was the last thing I wanted."

"I wouldn't make you choose," I say quietly, looking up at your face, your green eyes staring into mine and you smile at me softly before running your thumb across my bottom lip and that is the exact moment that I let myself fall in love with you.

"I know you wouldn't baby," you whisper before kissing me gently.

0-0-0-0-0

As expected, Carlisle calls the next day and Alice and I hover by the doorway, eavesdropping shamelessly, but only being able to hear what you are saying.

"Yes Dad, Bella Swan."

"A month."

"I hadn't spoken to her in seven years up until I saw her last month Dad." your tone is darker than I've ever heard and I feel guilty for listening in on a private conversation but I rationalize that it isn't just about you anymore and when you turn around to see Alice and I standing there, you shoot me an exasperated smile, rolling your eyes to hide your discomfort but I know.

"Okay, we'll see you tonight then." He ends the conversation and my jaw is on the floor. I wanted to see the Cullen's again but more than a few hours warning would have been preferred.

"Family dinner at Mom and Dad's tonight," you tell Alice and I and you both laugh at my frightened expression.

You hug me tightly and my body relaxes fractionally as I inhale the scent of your aftershave.

"Don't even be worried Bella, it won't be you that gets the third degree, it'll be me," you say trying to soothe me and I pull back and frown, placing my hand on your cheek and you smile and nuzzle into it, your gaze affectionate as you look at me and I tell myself to remember that look.

"Edward, that's exactly what I'm worried about."


	15. Fourteen

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**Thank you to all of you for your amazing feedback, your reviews mean the world!**

* * *

Despite yours and Alice's insistence that it isn't necessary, I spend the next three hours in the kitchen baking an apple pie for your father in the hopes that his favourite dessert distracts him enough to lay off of you.

"You're freaking out."

I turn around to spy you leaning on the wall of the archway into the kitchen after driving your sister home. I push a flyaway hair from my vision and smile at you, knowing that you're right but not wanting to admit my weakness.

"I am the definition of calm," I reply, winking at you before turning back to the dishes that I'm scrubbing furiously, the pie cooling on the counter and filling the kitchen with the scent of apple and cinnamon.

I hear you approach before your arms wind around me and I melt into you, pulling my hands from the rubber gloves and entwining my fingers with yours.

"Thank you for last night, and today," I say as you kiss the side of my neck in a very distracting manner.

"I'm sorry that it didn't happen earlier, seeing you with Alice again made me realise how much of an idiot I was being."

"It's okay," I say, squeezing your fingers and you pull away from me to turn me around to face you.

"Keeping you away from Alice was the most selfish thing that I have ever done Bella. Not even Jasper makes her laugh like you do. I can't believe I was going to stop that from happening." The sadness on your face makes me frown and you lean down and kiss my nose.

"I would never have made you choose between me and your family," I whisper, cupping your face, the stubble on your jaw rubbing against my hands and I can't help but imagine it in another places.

"Because you would have chosen for me. Do you have _any_ idea how perfect you are Bella?" your eyes are dark emeralds now and your expression draws my attention to the prominent bulge in your jeans.

"Wanna show me?" I ask slyly, turning my attention to the island in the kitchen.

"You are _so_ fucking perfect."

0-0-0-0-0

"Stop laughing, I am so pissed off with you right now!" I screech at Edward as I liberally apply concealer to the purple hickey that you've left on my neck.

We're side by side in the bathroom, taking advantage of the his and hers sinks as I hide the mark you've left on my neck and the circles under my eyes from the lack of sleep the past couple of nights and you shave the stubble that has left red marks all over my lower stomach and the inside of my thighs.

"Baby, you couldn't be mad at me even if you tried," the wink that follows your words arouses me and pisses me off even more and you laugh as I huff and brush my hair, trying desperately to keep the smile from my face.

0-0-0-0-0

"You look beautiful," you tell me as I fidget with the hem of the floral dress that you threw in my bag just yesterday.

"Will looking pretty give us approval from your father?" I ask, fiddling with the radio despite knowing that we're less than a block away from your parents' house.

"Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"It's going to be fine, I promise." You smile at me and I believe you.

0-0-0-0-0

Your mother greets us enthusiastically at the front door and introduces me to Jasper, who hugs me like an old friend and I know immediately that he's it for Alice.

"Bella Swan," your father greets me in the dining room as he sets the table with Alice who winks at me when I enter.

"Hi Carlisle," I say with a smile as he hugs me, smelling like old spice and my childhood.

"I heard about your father and I'm sorry," he says pulling back to look at me and I smile weakly, hating having to come up with an appropriate response.

"Bella made you a pie, Dad," you say to lessen the awkwardness and I smile at you gratefully.

"Apple?" Carlisle asks, lifting an eyebrow and smiling brightly as I nod in response and I think that maybe this won't be as bad as I thought.

0-0-0-0-0

"So how did the two of you meet…again?" your father asks halfway through a dinner of Esme's roast chicken. You and I both look to each other and you nod to me so I talk.

"My roommate Rosalie is dating your nephew Emmett and we ran into Edward when we were out about a month ago and we've been seeing each other ever since," it's the easiest version of how we met and there is no way I would indulge in sharing the details of the few nights that followed.

I wonder if this was how it felt for Tanya the first time she came around to meet your parents, if Esme loved her and if Carlisle approved. I wonder if Jasper hugged her or Alice looked forward to having a new sister and it makes me even more anxious.

"Ah," Carlisle says simply and I wriggle in my seat, completely uncomfortable being scrutinised by your father for the first time in my life.

"Bella is an amazing cook Mom!" Alice says, drawing attention away from the awkward silence that had begun to settle.

"Oh really! I always wondered what you'd settle on doing, you were so indecisive about it when you were little," Esme says, smiling widely and my heart clenches in regret that I had never stayed in touch with the woman who had been the closest thing to a mother I had ever had.

"Officially I'm a pastry chef, but I make a lot of candy and sweets as well. I distribute them all over restaurants and diners in town but in another month or so I'll be looking for a shop space so I have more space to work and can hire some help, my clientele is big enough for that now," I say and you squeeze my hand, smiling at me proudly and I am so unbelievably in love with you that I worry about it being written across my forehead.

"I am so proud of you sweetheart," your mother says and the intense pride I am feeling in this moment is cut immediately short by the frown I see on your fathers face as he looks at our entwined hands.

Carlisle spends the rest of the evening in silence, only speaking when asked to and avoiding the gazes of his son and his wife as they send worried looks his way.

The only solace I get is Esme whispering, "He'll come around," into my ear as she hugs me goodbye, and I can only hope that her acceptance rubs off on her husband before it drives a stake between him and his son.


	16. Fifteen

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

* * *

After the dinner at your parent's house you let all of the anxiety go and we fall seamlessly into each other, continuing to be late nights and early mornings but without the worry of rejection. Alice and I pick up our friendship again so easily that I sometimes think that I'm in a dream.

A _really_ fantastic dream.

Our routine changes with the introduction of our relationship into our social life and Friday nights become a standing drinks and board game night at your house, where Alice and Jasper and Rose and Emmett extend our party of two to six and the bliss I feel is endless as we all become a close group of friends.

Your mother, recently retired from her job as a social worker, spends days in your kitchen with me and we bake and bake and bake until the entire house smells like a chocolate factory and you complain about getting fat and I tell you that I'd like you anyway. You smile when you come home to see the both of us here, your eyes crinkling in the corners and your smile a little crooked and I find it harder every day not to blurt out that I am madly in love with you. Esme sees it though, in the way that my eyes linger and the way that I smile and she hugs me wordlessly and for the first time in a long time, I have a family.

* * *

"Stop it."

"Bella," you say, drawing my name out slowly and it's so freaking tempting but I literally have three pages left in the chapter of the book I am reading.

"Five minutes," I reply, but it's hard and my resistance won't last long because you're only wearing a pair of white Calvin Klein's and the glasses that you know drive me absolutely crazy.

Apparently you disagree with my order because you snatch the book out of my hand, standing up beside the bed before I have the chance to rip it from your thieving little hands.

"Give me that!"

"The fierce thrusting of his hips, the thick cock driving deep- Isabella Swan! You are reading _porn_!" Your voice was full of shock as you read a little further before throwing the book on the ground and looking at me with dark eyes.

"I wanted to make love to you and you were choosing that over me," your words are slow and soft, but the look in your eyes ignites a flame inside of me and suddenly I'm burning for you.

You don't move from your spot where you're standing and suddenly I'm feeling extremely bold because I'm pulling off my nightie, stretching out along the bed without breaking eye contact with you.

"Do you want to know what I thought about the first time I ever picked up a book like that?" I ask, running my fingertips along my bare stomach and flushing pink as your eyes follow my hands, your body remaining stiff and upright as you watch me touch myself.

"What did you think about?" your voice is hoarse and husky and I can almost feel the heat of it over my skin as I pinch my stiff nipples, closing my eyes and moaning quietly at the pleasure it brings.

"I thought I was being dirty, reading something like that when I was only sixteen but the deeper it got into it, the more aroused I became until I started touching myself. I hadn't done it before then, but afterwards, after I'd made myself come, I realised that I hadn't even been thinking about the man in the book, I'd been thinking about you."

You're on me then, your mouth hard and wet and unrelenting as you claim dominance over me and I'm so aroused that my panties are completely soaked through, becoming impossibly wetter as your covered erection meets my clit and we both moan aloud.

"Fucking hell Bella," you whisper as your pull our underwear off and feel how wet I am for you.

When you slide into me, its heaven and hell and everything all at once and I know you feel the same way despite the fact that we have each other at least twice a day. The mood changes when you're inside of me, the desperation and unrelenting hunger that we had just been feeling melting away and when you move inside of me, it's hard and slow and the most intimate experience of my life and that is when I learn what it really means to make love.

* * *

"What are you doing? It's a Sunday morning," you groan as my phone alarm pulls us both from sleep and I wipe my eyes and smile at your grumpy and completely adorable expression.

"I have to go back to the apartment and do some washing, I have no clean clothes," I tell you, trying to pull myself from the bed but struggling as you wrap your arms around me, pulling me back into the position we had been sleeping in two minutes ago.

"Just do your laundry here," you say, your voice full of sleep.

"My clothes are at the apartment though."

"So bring them. Later, after we finish sleeping." I try to get up again but you're strength – even first thing in the morning – is unwavering.

"Then I'd have to take them back over anyway," I complain.

"You could just keep them here, you know, all of them," you're awake now, rolling me over to look at my face as you watch the weight of your words sink in.

"Like, _move in_?" I ask, thinking about the fact that we've only been together for just a couple of months and that despite the fact that your father had warmed up to the idea of us as a couple over thanksgiving, I didn't even realise that you had been thinking about this at all. I suppose that I hadn't really slept at my apartment in weeks and that my belongings were all over your house, from the toothbrush in the bathroom to the stacks of books that were scattered around the house and the fact that you wanted to share this house with _me_, warmed me to the core.

"Like _move in,_" you repeat and there's a vulnerability on your face that I want to kiss away, so I do, morning breath be damned.

"Was that a yes?" you ask smiling crookedly as I pull away.

"Definitely a yes."

And that is how we decided to move in together.


	17. Sixteen

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

A heads up that Inhale will be wrapped up very soon and Exhale will follow almost immediately.

* * *

My books were everywhere.

In boxes, in walkways, stacked on every surface of the house and I could see them driving you absolutely crazy.

"I can put them in storage," I offered the third time you tripped over the stack near the door way in the foyer.

"No, I'll sort something out," you reply with a smile with relief, I would have thought you would have been furious about my things being everywhere but you never showed any irritation with me, furthering my belief that you're a figment of my imagination.

After the night I said yes, we talked to Rosalie who had decided that she and Emmett would be taking over the lease of our apartment, he'd finally manned up, according to her.

It took little over a week to bring all of my stuff over and the satisfaction of seeing our clothes hanging side by side in the closet makes me insanely happy. You reply and tell me that it makes you happier, and then you show me, over and over.

* * *

It's the week before Christmas and I am insanely stressed, all of the restaurants and small shops that I supply food for are doubling orders, for which Esme is the biggest help as I just make deadlines.

You've taken over cooking dinner for the both of us when you get home from work and I realise that falling in love with you isn't something that can just be done because it never ends, I just find myself falling a little further each day.

You come home from work on the 21st of December and it's officially the holidays for us both, you having finished renovating someone's house and I delivering the last pie that I _ever_ want to see.

"Bella?" you call out from the foyer and I walk out to see you holding a small cardboard box with a sheepish grin on your face before scratching the scruff on your chin.

"Yes?" I ask, intrigued when I hear a small sound coming from the box.

"The owner of the house found them under the porch this morning and nobody wanted this little guy and-"you cut off your sentence because I've practically bolted across the space between us to lift the smallest kitten I've ever seen from the box.

I see right away why he was the one left behind, a small tabby kitten who I recognise from extensive googling, has a case of dwarfism and looks a little skinny but to me is absolutely perfect and when I tell you this you tell me that's a very good thing and show me that you've gone outrageously overboard buying supplies for the kitten that has found a home in my arms, his purr enthusiastic and he nuzzles my neck.

"I love you," you say for the first time ever and I look up to see you staring at me with a reverence in your eyes reminiscent of the way my father used to look at my mother and I'm beaming, all teeth and happiness as I kiss you senseless because I have been bursting at the seams trying to keep it in.

"I love you," I tell you and we spend a few moments just grinning at each other like a pair of idiots before our little guy gets restless and the smiles remain firm as we set up a space for the kitten that we later remain Tyrion.

* * *

Christmas Eve is spent at your family's house prepping food for tomorrow and watching themed movies that Alice knows all of the lines to, much to everyone's amusement. She sits at the breakfast bar holding Tyrion, who detests being left alone while the rest of us cut up food for the feast tomorrow.

"Bella, please tell me that you made pie for tomorrow?" Carlisle whispers as Esme rants about gluten free food and I laugh quietly before holding up two fingers and his relief is comical as he winks at me before turning back to his wife. Edward meets my eyes from across the island in the centre of the kitchen and grins at me and we both take a moment to appreciate how far Carlisle has come in accepting both of us, his initial hostility making way for gratitude at having another daughter.

Later that night, with nothing but candle light to illuminate the room and Tyrion's soft snores from the foot of the bed we face one another, saying nothing as your fingers trace patterns over my collar bone and the digital clock on the nightstand flicks over to midnight.

"Merry Christmas," I whisper, not wanting to break the moment and you grin at me lazily and it's my favourite one, when your eyes are slightly hooded and it's just us.

"I love you," you whisper in return and I smile back at you, willing my eyes to capture this exact moment in my memory forever.

"I don't even know how I lived before this," I reply, holding your hand over my heart.

"You're it for me Bella, I hope you know that," you reply, wide awake and serious and I tell you that you're it for me too and we begin our Christmas Day loving one another.

* * *

The Cullen's do Christmas Morning like no other and the pile of presents seem endless as I'm handed gift after gift and I've never felt more grateful for anything in my life. I receive new books, which Edward rolls his eyes at before winking at me and cook books and you me a vintage necklace that I knew once belonged to Carlisle's mother and I'm the happiest I've ever been when you hand me an envelope with a happy yet worried expression on your face.

I open it and a picture and letter fall out and I'm looking at a photograph of a gorgeous line of shops, the kind I'd like mine to be one day and I smile wistfully before opening the letter, very confused by the picture and I my heart stops beating as I read, my eyes watering before I tear my eyes from the letter to meet yours.

"All I did was give him on of your cakes and he offered to rent the space really cheap if I helped him fix it up for free," you say and you're smiling at me, pride written across your face and I wipe a tear away before beaming at you.

"I get to open my shop?" I ask, my heart insanely full of love for you as I realise you've just handed my dreams in an envelope.

"You get to open your shop."


	18. Seventeen

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**I estimate that there are two to three more chapters of Bella's point of view (Inhale) before we switch to Edward's (Exhale).**

**As always, thank you for your amazing feedback!**

* * *

Our days together after the New Year was spent renovating the small shop that you'd managed to get for me, you knocking down and building new walls and me painting and putting up shelves when I wasn't busy cooking with your mother for stock.

The nights were ours and ours alone. There was an easier rhythm after our initial _I love yous_, as if both of us had been holding something back by not saying it and I learned quickly that having all of you was everything.

You were everything.

* * *

"What do you think about this?" you ask me one night in early February. I'm leaning over the stove, stirring the marinara sauce, the cat asleep at my feet as you pour over blueprints and sketches over at the breakfast bar.

I move away from the stove to look at what you're showing me, determined to avoid looking at your face while you wear your glasses because it normally ends with both of us without pants on.

When I see the sketch of the large back deck and vine covered trellis I fall in love. It's perfect.

"It's amazing." I tell you with a large smile on my face. We'd been talking about it since Christmas, little additions and changes to the house as you thought about them. When you'd first started talking about the changes I was confused because I loved the house and I knew you did too, but I didn't want you changing anything because of me and when I told you so you'd said that you were just finishing it, just making it perfect.

"I knew you'd like it," Your grin is infectious and I lean over and kiss you softly, pulling away before I can get carried away, which is far too easy to do with you.

"I didn't even think it could get any better than this." I admit, looking around at the kitchen that I'd broken in almost every night since I'd moved in and the house that was so perfect that I had often a hard time believing that I lived here, even after all of these months.

You move away from the breakfast bar then, and hold me from behind, your heart beat thumping loudly against my cheek as I melt into you.

"It can get better baby, you'd better believe it," You whisper hoarsely into my neck, your hands wrapped around mine as you slowly trace patterns against my ring finger.

* * *

"Is it finished? It looks finished." Alice asks as Esme and I unload jars full of candy onto the endless shelves around the store.

"There's a few more things to do here and there, but by the start of next week we'll be open." I say with a large smile. Esme had agreed to work part time with me until I was able to start hiring and I was endlessly grateful for her help.

"It looks so good Bella, my brother did a really good job." She says admiring the counter that you had carved for me, sneaking in a little E & B among the henna type pattern that made me love you even more.

"Your brother is perfect." I tell her as I lift another jar off lemon sherbets from the box.

"It's a Cullen thing." Esme says, throwing me a wink and I laugh and shake my head, trying not to think about what you'd said to me a week ago. I wanted you, all of you, forever and the hope and anticipation was killing me.

Alice's phone rings then and she answers it with a peppy greeting before passing it to me. "Edward." She says as explanation.

"Did you lose your phone again?" you ask with a low chuckle and I blush, remembering that I left it on the counter at home this morning.

"It isn't lost if I know where it is." I quip back defensively, enticing another chuckle from you as I balance the phone between my shoulder and my head.

"This is why you're Watson and I'm Sherlock." you and I roll my eyes, knowing the exact smirk you have on your stupidly handsome face. "Anyway, I'm about to head over. Do you want me to bring pizza?"

"Antonio's?" I ask, grinning because you understand me without even asking.

"Of course."

"I love you." I sigh into the phone, earning a gag from Alice that entices a certain finger gesture from me.

"And I am infinitely grateful for that. I'll see you in an hour, I love you." You say with a smile in your voice before hanging up the phone.

* * *

It's seventy-eight minutes later that I frown. You're never late. Ever.

* * *

At ninety I call your phone but you don't pick up and it worries me because you always pick up.

* * *

At one hundred and three I call Jasper, who says you left over two hours ago and the pit in my stomach becomes even larger. Where are you?

* * *

At one hundred and seventeen your name lights up my screen and I release a sigh of relief.

"I was worried about you." I say with a smile as I answer your call.

"Bella?" I frown, because that isn't your voice, it's Carlisle's.

"Carlisle?"

"You need to get to the hospital, Edward's been in an accident."


	19. Eighteen

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**The next chapter will be the last of Inhale.**

**Reviews are love!**

* * *

There were tubes everywhere.

The echoes of the machine were deafening.

And you – _god_ – you looked _broken._

You saved a little girl, pushed her out of the way of a car that didn't stop in time.

Her mother had come in to see you, she cried as she apologised and cried harder when your mother hugged her.

I was numb.

It had been two weeks so far and I felt like I was about to explode, I just missed you _so_ much.

It hadn't even been a year since that night in the bar but I didn't feel like I'd ever be right again, like I was missing a sense or a limb.

If it weren't for Tyrion, I wouldn't even leave the hospital room.

Your Dad lied to the nurses and told them I was your wife so they'd let me stay.

I wish you would hurry up and come back to me so that I could be.

* * *

"Bella, honey." The soft sound of Esme's voice wakes me from my slumber and I sit up quickly, looking at the bed where you are still lying, the bruises finally fading and the scrapes healing into pink marks.

I wipe my eyes of sleep at look at the clock on the wall – I'd slept for five hours, the longest time since your father had called me weeks ago.

"No change?" She asks, grief in her voice. Much like everyone except Alice and I, the hope had begun fading from her voice and eyes.

"The nurse said he was breathing better." I said, smiling at the small change. They'd removed the breathing tube finally and told me that any progress at this stage was good progress.

Esme smiles at me in reply, but it doesn't meet her eyes.

She pities me.

"Bella!"

Alice had been a shining light throughout it all, bringing me food and replacing each bouquet of flowers as they start losing petals. "I don't want him to wake up to ugly dead flowers." She had told me when I asked, "I don't want him to think for a second that we gave up hope."

"Hey Alice." I say, rising from the small cot that had become my permanent residence.

She glides into the room, leaving the smell of vanilla in her wake as she hugs both me and her mother.

"So, I'm pregnant." She blurts out casually as she brushes the hair out of your face, smiling sadly as watches you breathe.

There are tears and hugs and squeals as we embrace her, sharing the joy.

It isn't until later, after Esme's left that Alice's smile falls.

"I want him to be here, I need him to be here." She says as we each hold one of your hands, identical frowns on our faces.

"He would have hugged you and glared at Jasper." I tell her, smiling sadly at her. Alice laughs then, choking on tears as she lets go of your hand and pulls her handbag from the floor.

She pulls a small package from it and passes it to me.

"It's a journal." She says, "I thought that you could write it all down, for when he wakes up."

"Thank you Alice, it's perfect."

* * *

It isn't until later, when I've left the hospital, leaving Alice to watch over you for the night that I allow the days tears to fall.

The house is empty without you, although you're everywhere.

In the journal left on the coffee table.

The glasses on the kitchen table, on top of half-finished sketches.

I cry.

And cry.

And then I pick up the empty journal Alice gave me.

I start writing.

_I'm not sure I could ever go back to what my life was like before I met you, but, if I could choose between that and what I'm going through now - the after - I still wouldn't pick it. I would rather have the memories of our time together than the loneliness that made me up before you walked back into my life._

_They say that there's little to no hope of you coming back but I refuse to let go of mine. I'm writing our story down for you now, for when you do come back to me, so that you can see just how deeply and completely your love runs through me and will always run through me._

_Please come back._


	20. Nineteen

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

* * *

While you sleep, I write.

And write.

And write.

When I finish everything up until the accident, I cry.

I haven't even finished the journal Alice gave me.

Is this all I get? A hundred and fifty pages full of memories that I worry are going to start fading.

I miss you.

I miss you so much it hurts.

* * *

Your mother made me sleep at home last night, and the feel of our mattress after six weeks of sleeping in the hospital cot keeps me awake.

I washed my hair with your shampoo and pulled on your favourite flannel shirt, your scent is almost gone but it's the only one that still smells like you.

I don't sleep.

* * *

It's 5am when I get the call.

It's your mom.

She's crying and laughing at the same time.

You're waking up.


	21. Exhale

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

* * *

**EXHALE**

**Preface.**

_Isabella Swan is going to be the death of me._

_I saw her last night._

_It's been seven years and she isn't sixteen anymore._

_No, she is a woman now._

_And she is beautiful, although she always had been._

_That was the second thing about her I noticed._

_The first was that she wasn't wearing a ring on _that_ finger._

_And it surprised me, how happy that made me._

_I spent the night at her house and she read to me before we slept, the taste of her tongue lingering on my lips._

_We didn't have sex but it was the most intimate night of my life._

_And the entire time she was in my arms, the same thing kept flashing through my mind:_

Finally.


	22. Twenty

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

**Also, I feel it necessary to tell everyone that I am not currently undergoing a degree in medicine, so any procedures and/or diagnoses are purely fiction.**

**Thank you for every one of your reviews, I read them over and over and appreciate them all.**

* * *

The first thing I notice is that my head is pounding worse than any hangover I've ever had in my life. My eyes feel heavy, like I've not slept long enough but the aching in my limbs make me question how long I've been lying here.

"Edward?" Mom's voice calms me a little as I battle with my eyelids.

"Mom?" I try to choke out but my mouth is so dry that it's barely a word.

When I finally open my eyes I'm nearly blinded by light and I squint against the harsh fluorescence, turning my head away from the painful light.

I'd never experience this kind of pain before.

Everything hurt.

"It's a little bright Mr Cullen, but your eyes will adjust shortly." The professional voice confuses me and when I turn my head I'm faced with a man in a lab coat, a nurse and my mother.

"Here, hun." The nurse says, handing me a small cup of water that I down as though I've been standing in a desert for a month.

"What happened?" I manage to choke out, my throat not a lot clearer than it had been seconds ago.

"You were in an accident Mr Cullen." The doctor says, checking my pupils and all of the machines that I seemed to be hooked up to. "You've been in a coma for about six weeks. You fractured three ribs and broke your left arm. The coma was caused by the brain bleed that we managed to get under control during surgery and you may experience a few bouts of memory loss or lapses in your hand eye coordination."

I'd been asleep for six weeks?

"Accident?" The question is directed for my mother who looks as though she just woke up and a look to my left at the cot on the floor, it tells me that she did.

"You were picking up pizza and a little girl ran onto the road, you pushed her out of the way but not before you could avoid the car. You saved her life." She looks nothing but proud as she tells the story but the gap in my memory makes me frown.

"I don't remember."

The doctor nods his head, looking unalarmed and tells me it's to be expected but I still feel uncomfortable with the hole.

Alice and my father enter the room then, sleep still in their eyes but smiles on their faces as they hug me gently, whispering how much they loved and missed me.

When Alice fawns over my hair with a hand pressed against her stomach it doesn't go unnoticed by me.

"You're pregnant?" I ask, awe and shock in my voice as I stare at my baby sister.

"You're going to be an Uncle." She confirms with a smile on her face and tears in her eyes.

"I'm going to have to punch Jasper now, you know that right?" I say with blunt honesty and there is laughter all around as my mother and Alice talk all about the baby and I feel a little normal again, despite the teary smiles they give me every couple of minutes while I'm poked and prodded.

The nurse and doctor leave shortly after that, informing me of the multiple tests I'll have to endure after morning rounds.

"Fabulous." I said, enticing a smile from Doctor Straight-face.

* * *

"What do you remember last?" Alice asked from the chair beside my bed, covered in a blanket that seemed very familiar to me but that I couldn't place. Mom and Dad had gone to the cafeteria for coffee and to call and spread the news of my awakening.

"Leaving work, I think." I say with frustration, wishing I could remember more. "It's annoying, not really remembering. Everything seems kind of hazy."

"At least you remember me." She says with a wink, glancing at the door for the fifth time in a minute.

"Jasper coming?" I ask, my curiosity peaking as she glanced at the door _again._

"No, because _someone_ decided to take a little emergency va-cay, he's been doing a little overtime." She says with a smile on her face but it doesn't stop me feeling any less guilty. Six weeks is a long time in construction. "Don't you dare say you're sorry Edward Cullen, or I will let my child call you Uncle Eddie."

"You can't turn it against him before the spawn is even born Alice." A musical voice says from the door way.

"We talked about you calling it spawn, you said you wouldn't."

"I said I would _try_ not to."

"Bella Swan?" I ask, when I see her, confusion and shock evident in my voice as I look at her, wondering why the girl - no - _woman,_ was standing in my hospital room and more to the point – why she was wearing my favourite shirt.

Had she and Alice reconnected in the past six weeks?

"Edward Cullen." She says back with a small and confused laugh, but her eyes aren't in it and I can see the confusion and fear rising in them as the awkward moment stretches between us. The blinding smile that she had worn when she'd walked in to the room was now replaced with a frown and a little cross between her eyes that I want to wipe away with my thumb.

"Edward." My sister says slowly, apprehension thick in her voice. "What was the last thing you remember?"

"The crew and I just finished putting in the windows at my house, then I was heading back to the apartment for dinner." I say, frowning. What was going on?

The silence stretches then, Alice and Bella both looking stricken with shock, Alice's eyes on me as Bella's stare out of the window at the sunrise, a tear falling silently down her cheek.

"What is it?"

"The house has been finished for two years Edward."


End file.
